I have finally snapped.
People asked me if I was ok following Barack Obama defeating John McCain. I told them that at like Gloria Gaynor, I will survive.
Then last night, that phrase gave me an idea. Because nobody sane was around to let me know it was a terrible idea, I went with it.
So in the spirit of 1970s disco, I can now express my feelings regarding the 2008 election.
1) “At first I was afraid…I was petrified
November 4th, 2008, the music died…
I stayed at home eating ice cream feeling sorry for myself
We lost the election…I wanted to lay down and die…
But we’ll be back…take it from me…
In Twenty Ten the crowds will all be screaming G-O-P…
The people want their taxes cut, and they want their trade free…
They do not want big government, they just want liberty…
So not so fast…slow down Barack…
You get the office key but you still cannot change the lock…
We are a loyal opposition…
We will be manning our positions…
We are alive…and we will thrive…we will survive…”
2) “Remember 1992…we were so blue…
An Arkansas fast talker and his lying crew…
His wife was going to take away all that we fought for…
And when she tried…there was Newt in ‘94…
Yes we came back…the Senate, House, and more…
We told the liberals turn around now, you’re not welcome any more…
We know that they can’t rule…
They are like kids destroying schools…
Right now they are living large…
But the adults will be back in charge…
So just stay calm…the left got lucky…
We’ve got Coleman in Minnesota and McConnell in Kentucky…
We’ve got Rudy…and we’ve got Fred…
Dems have platitudes, and maybe a bit more hair on their head
You want handsome…well we have Mitt…
He is full of hair and ideas, the left is full of (redacted)…
So let’s stand up…answer the call…
We stand for freedom and liberty, they stand for nothing at all
They have no agenda…they have no plan…
Obama has the flash, but that flash is in the pan…
The left will crumble…and they will bumble…
We are alive…we will thrive…we will survive…”
3) “This is only one short painful chapter…
In the reign of terror of the Pelosiraptor…
Let them drink their Frisco wine, let them eat their Brie Cheese…
In 2 years they will surrender on their sissy liberal knees…
We won Iraq…We’ll win Iran…
We defeated Germany and Japan…
To those who think the best days of America are gone…
You are liberal, you are boring, and as usual you’re wrong…
We are conservatives…and we are right…
If we can defeat the terrorists, with all of our might…
We can surely defeat liberals, they will mess it up themselves…
So get some rest and be ready for GOP in 2012
We will survive…we will thrive…
Republicans snap out if it, look alive…
We will survive!”
In the spirit of California and Proposition 8 legalizing gay marriage, I am prancing around my house singing this song like Kevin Kline in the movie “In and out.”
No, not really. Yet when nobody is looking, republicans are allowed to frolic. Frolicking is healthy.
I will not ever imply that anything about this column was remotely healthy.
The loose screws in me cranium, they are about to hit the floor.
Dang carpet. I wonder where they landed.
eric
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